The Dog Whisperer Maria Conchita

6 Things that Piss me off

2010-03-27T09:23:00.000-07:00

1) Returning your cart after use but leaving your half eaten bag of chips and candy bar in the fucking thing.

This is extremely rude and lazy of you. I feel you are an asshole and should be run over by the little cart that pulls all the shopping carts. I don't want to be picking your half eaten hot dog out of the cart. For god sake, you honestly couldn't go to the store without having to eat??? Come on people...eat before you go shopping...Rule # 1 never go shopping when your hungry!

2) Not waving or acknowledging me after I let your car through

A simple thank you. That's all...is that too much to ask for? There are 10 cars behind me all pissed at me now that I let you out of the parking lot, this making them wait for your stupid ass and you can't even wave a thank you? Well FUCK YOU...I should ram into your rear...yes that fits for both the female driver and the car...sorry male drivers ram your own rear..But seriously how hard is it to say thanks? Put the cell phone down, the lipstick, the sandwich, the 64 oz Mountain Dew and say thank you! You inconsiderate little prick

3) Wal-Mart Greeters that Don’t say Hell

Now this one I copied from yes the great Dog Whisperer Maria Conchita.. Now I just got back from Walmart actually. And in all the times I have been in the store, I honestly don't recall a greeter ever saying HELL. Now I have heard them say Hello..But I don't understand why she would want them to say Hell? Why not Heaven? Just not sure why she would be so upset by this? Maybe some built up anger, hostility towards the Walmart Greeter....go figure

4) Scents that are not really a Smell (AGAIN BORROWED FROM THE DOG WHISPERER)

Example: My Febreze Air Effects (air freshener) scent is “Mistletoe and Magic”. What the hell does magic smell like?!? Or how about Snuggle Fabric Softener “Blue Sparkle”. WTF?

Well Dog Whisperer, why buy them? You state they piss you off, yet you have just admitted to buying 2 non existent smelling items to make your home and clothes smell...well....like nothing...so I must ask...how can something that you willingly buy AND use piss you off????

5) Front page articles that lie to me and don't make me a better lover

We all have seen the articles on Maxim, Cosmo, Good Housekeeping, Martha Stewart....10 steps to making you a better lover, or better kisser, or ramp up your sex life...well how about an article on how to get a sex life???? Fucking tease! Now the articles are full of a lot of information I must say though..Although its the same information that can be obtained by watching PBS. Who the hell writes this shit anyway? And why am I the stupid asshole who buys them? AND actually reads them???? God I piss me off sometimes

6) Not being called Poochy for a day

Now I know you all are saying..wait....didn't you vent about this just 2 days ago? Well yes..but in that time and the 4 months leading up to my first post, I have sort of begun to expect it now. And when I don't hear it, I am let down, hurt, angry, pissed, flustered, sad, weak, in pain, and just downright lost. How can she do this to me? She baits me...she gets me to accept the name and then poof nothing...Now there may be a little whisper here and there..but come on women...do your job!

That is all....Poochy has spoken

Sick Dog Whisperer

2010-03-25T08:04:00.000-07:00

Today will not be a good day. I have just received word the Dog Whisperer has worms. This is just as much of a shock to me as it is to all of you. Please take a moment to bow your head and be thankful you don't have worms. I am sure she will pull through however. She is a fighter and one hell of a determined soul. Nothing will keep her down which is one of the many things that sets the Dog Whisperer aside from most women, hell most people. But I did share my initial entry with her last evening and she has claimed to find much humor in my blog. My hope is to one day have the writing skills and vision that she possesses. Until then, all I can do is pray to the gods, and keep my eyes on the finish line. Get better Doggy Whisperer...stop eating the damn grass will ya!

The Dog Whisperer Inspiration

2010-03-25T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have added the song to my profile for your listening enjoyment. And yes, this really is me.

The Dog Whisperer

2010-03-24T17:30:00.000-07:00

Many recently have heard the sounds and commands of the Dog Whisperer in the office at TWC calling out the name Poochy. Some of you may be thinking a canine had been let loose in the building or someone lost their beloved dog. I am here to set the record straight. I am the one known as Poochy. I'm gonna let that sink in for a moment....... Now Poochy has not always been a name I go by or answer to for that matter. However, the becoming of Poochy was set in motion about 7 years ago. It wasn't until one faithful afternoon when I let a certain blogger on 518fever.com hear a remake of the song Beth by Kiss I had created, that the name came to life. You see, I have a buddy who's ex wife's name was Beth. And yes this is going to sound mean, cruel, and just downright wrong, but the song was created for and about her. Not her in general terms. Rather her taking everything in the divorce from my buddy. In the divorce said wife took the family dog. At the end of the song, there is a long note of POOCHYYYYY POOOOO. Now I have always been an outgoing non-shy guy. I don't embarrass easily and felt I could take the criticism received from 518fever.com blogger who writes under the blog titled The Running Mind. Go ahead and head on over to the site to see who I am talking about. I'll wait.....................Ok, now you might be thinking, wow she is a beautiful girl with a talent for writing. She looks so innocent and sweet. Don't let the looks fool you! She has single handedly spread the word to all of my employee's that my name is Poochy! Now for those who don't know me or what I look like, I can assure you I look nothing like someone who would go by the nickname Poochy. In fact, my nickname has always been Crusher after the Bugs Bunny cartoon where Bugs wrestles a character named Da Crusher. (Trust me it fits me). Well today, I arrived at work bright and early at 9am only to be greeted by 4 of my staff with a "Good morning Poochy". Now mind you, all 4 were male employee's. Which hey, I am not one to judge, but COME ON!!!!! Anyways, I have tried to combat this with the nickname of the Dog Whisperer for said blogger. As she normally will whisper Poochy to me anytime she see's me. I will admit, I do somewhat enjoy her calling me that. But to have 4 grown men say it sounded...well....just not right! To add insult to injury yesterday I was secluded in an outer office with her (not a bad thing). I was called Poochy to a room of temporary workers not once, but six hundred and nineteen (619) times! Yes I counted! Now I have to admit in all honesty. She is a great girl. She is smart, has a great head on her shoulders, and is funny as shit..not that shit is actually that funny, but you get the point. So I accept the name. I have now embraced the name. And from here on out, I will be blogging about the Running Minds blog blogger under the blog title The Dog Whisperer Maria Conchita. Yes, I know there may be more interesting things to blog about out there, but hey....Its my blog and I want to blog about another blogger...if you don't like it, I will pee in your shoes, chew up your couch, and bark until the sun comes up....so get used to it folks...Poochy is here to stay!